SOB Writing Campaign – Insight 1- Opening up the conversation around child sexual abuse
We want to start opening up the conversation around child sexual abuse and how children are groomed and coerced into acts of a sexual nature.
We want to share with general society how children are accessed to be abused.
Before you READ any further or decide that you would like to take part in this writing campaign please bear in mind the following:-
Writing a piece on the questions below could be triggering and re-traumatising so please only take part if you are able to deal with any situation/feelings that may come about because you have taken part in the writing campaign.
Using your lived experience we would like you to write a short extract (up to 500) words on:
- How did the abuser groom you? The people around you?
- What did they do to win over your trust?
- Did they give you anything to help win over your trust?
- What did they do to keep you silent?
- Did you show signs of ever being abused?
- Were you ever able to disclose? what age were you?
- What was the response to your abuse? from your family? or professional(s) / institution you disclosed to?
- When they carried out their crimes against you, did you know what was happening?
- Did you have the right language to use to explain what had happened to you?
- How did the acts of abuse against you make you feel?
- How did the acts of abuse against you affect you in the short term? long term?
You can remain completely anonymous or you can share your name (subject to the following):-
- Please do not share any identifying details of the abuser unless they have been convicted.
- If you have an ongoing investigation you will need to remain anonymous AND be really careful about the details you share…..keep your piece general in its nature so that Jigsaw recognition is not possible.
So if you have decided that this is the right thing for you we would really appreciate you taking part in our campaign to raise awareness around this often taboo subject of child sexual abuse.
Please submit your 500 words (max) piece to sobbtc@outlook.com
Thank you – SOB Team.
Opening up the conversation around child sexual abuse – http://www.survivorsofabuse.org.uk
Here is an example following the brief above:
I am a single man, a successful man. People look up to me in my community.
I want to meet a single mum with children. I will befriend the mum to gain access to the children.
I will make the mum feel that she is special. I will take my time in building up the trust and a relationship with the mum by making myself indispensable and helping her with her children.
I will spend quality time with both the mum and the children. I will buy them presents I will learn to know what they are into and I will spend time with them doing what they love.
I believe this is called ‘grooming’.
This may take some time but I will keep my eyes on the Prize.
As the trust grows between me and the mum and me and the children I will start to tell the mum to go and spend some quality time on her own or with her friends. She will be so glad of the freedom and she will leave the children in my care.
Overtime to get closer to the children I will start playing with them, tickling them, cuddling them, holding their hands, anything to normalise me touching them.
As the children get used to my touch I will start touching their private places and I will see how they respond to this touch. I will tell them that this is our little secret. I will tell them that this is the way adults show love to children. I will tell them that I love them and if they loved me they will do what I ask. I will offer them sweets, toys, money; anything that they will take in exchange for their silence and my continued access to them.
Children do not really understand what I’m doing to them, they may act confused but usually they will accept what an adult tells them. They have always believed me in the past. The younger the children are, the easier they are to control and manipulate and to get them to do what I want.
If I need to be stronger in my aim to silence them I will tell them that their mum will be extremely upset with them. She will not believe them, she won’t love them anymore. Or I will tell them that I will hurt the other sibling. Usually, these threats will silence the child that I am having a relationship with.
This has worked in the past and it will work again now.
My warning to you is to be careful who you leave your children with – do you really know that person?
Anonymous Series June 2021
SOB http://www.survivorsofabuse.org.uk
#BreakingTheSilence #BreakingTheCycle #CSA #CSE #StartingTheConversation #GroomingProcess
SOB – Survivors Of ABuse