CHILD ABUSE by Chris Tuck founder of S.O.B.
Is a very complex area, it is multi faceted.
There are many forms of CHA
- FGM & Circumcision
- Emotional abuse
- Mental abuse
- Physical abuse
- Sexual abuse
Mental health is your ability to properly think and process information while emotional health is your ability to appropriately express feelings. While the two are very different, you can’t have one without the other. The choices you make on a daily basis involve both mental and emotional processing – your cognitive reasoning may be influenced by the way you feel about a certain situation.
People who have trouble managing their mental and emotional health are prone to develop a number of problems including the following:
• Depression and anxiety
• Fearful or angry reactions
• High levels of stress
• Excessive worrying
- Emotional /Mental abuse – constant belittling, negative comparisons to others, worthless, no good, not wanted, frequent threatening yelling or bullying, ignoring, rejecting, limited physical contact, exposing the child to violence or the abuse of others.
This affects a child’s mental state, their sense of worth and being.
- Physical abuse – physical harm or injury to the child. Severe discipline inappropriate to the child’s age or size. Discipline is to teach right from wrong not to make a child fearful of you.
- Sexual abuse – exposing a child to sexual situations or materials. Does not have to involve touching.
The emotional component of sexual abuse – the shame and the guilt – affects a child’s mental state. Often have problems with forming relationships, promiscuity.
- Neglect – failing to provide for a child’s basic needs, food ,clothing ,shelter, supervision.
How can we detect it?Look at how our children are behaving…..
- Emotional/Mental abuse – excessively withdrawn, fearful or anxious about doing something. Shows extremes in behaviours, doesn’t seem to be attached to the parent or caregiver, acts inappropriately as an adult or infant.
- Physical abuse – frequent injuries or unexplained cuts bruises etc, always watchful or on alert waiting for something to happen, shies away or flinches from touch, afraid to go home, wears inappropriate clothing
- Sexual abuse – trouble walking or sitting, displays knowledge that they should have at their age, avoids a person without obvious reason, runs away from home, avoids getting changed in front of other.
- Neglect – clothes ill fitting dirty inappropriate for the weather, bad hygiene, unsupervised, frequently late or missing from school.
How do we report it? Statutory reporting and procedure that is rolled out to everyone.
Listen to the child, don’t interrogate them, reassure the child that it is not their fault they did nothing wrong, go to the professionals to get help with the whole situation.
The earlier child abuse is caught, the better the chance of recovery and appropriate treatment for the child.
The longer the abuse goes on the more milestones the child does not reach or form properly will impact their adult life significantly.
- Close family members
- Friends or extended family
- Institutional abuse – care homes/schools/churches
- Foster care
- Media /celebrities
- People in power MPS / Policeman
- Online groomers
- Child Trafficking
- Child Abduction
It is a societal problem and it needs to be dealt with from the ground up. There needs to be a single framework and proper investment into this framework to deal with all aspects of abuse. We need to tackle this huge problem of child hood abuse from many angles and this is why
I believe that there needs to be a single framework supported by the government and all stakeholders and proper investment needs to be available.
Educate children as to what is normal accepted love and what is abuse – Schools NSPCC campaign
Put in place protection on line – Simply childsafe a magazine written by Jamie Bulger’s mum Denise goes into this in great detail.
Children who go through the court process should be protected they should present their case away from the perpetrator .
Educate Parents to take their head out of the sand and talk to their children about this important life changing matter. Parents may need to be taught what to say. Prevention is better than cure.
Abuse knows no boundairies it happens in poor rich black white all religions all cultures. In fact it is more prevalent and accepted in some societies.
If parents have been abused themselves and they thing this is normal – they need to break the cycle
Or if parenting does not come easy to them and they need some support and guidance.
Victims /Survivors of abuse need the proper aftercare to deal with the aftermath of the abuse they have endured. They need to learn to love and nurture themselves this often requires therapy….can take a long time and cost alot of money….. to deal with their mindset to enable them to overcome the shame and guilt they have carried round with them for years. Often individuals will use a crutch to help them deal with their feelings in order to get through every day life
- Self harm
My area of expertise is to break the cycle of abuse through mindset nutrition and fitness.Victims and survivors of abuse are highly stressed individuals. Stress in itself can be a killer…..so I concentrate on reducing the stress in the individual through dealing with what they are thinking, how they are thinking and what behaviours this is presenting.
Run two courses
Releasing The Shame of Childhood Abuse
Unleashing your Inner Phoenix – Self Esteem
8 week online Breaking The Cycle Health & Wellbeing Programmes
NAPAC & I Have adopted April to be Child Abuse Awareness Month so we have a month of fundraising and awareness.
I am hosting the 1st ever conference in Sept called Breaking The Cycle – Love Life & Laughter After Abuse – TALK ABOUT THIS!
NAPAC – Pete Saunders is regularly in the media raising awareness of childhood abuse and calling for change at the government level.
NAPAC have their own helpline 0808 801 0331 that victims and survivors can call for any help that they feel they need. NAPAC is lottery funded and should be government funded.
NAPAC do alot of work in womens prisons rehabilitating the women . Many women have committed crimes because of their childhood abuse. Not knowing or being able to deal with their anger issues from their abuse they have acted out and committed a crime.
Pedophiles/Child molesters need input so that they stop what they are doing and they don’t go on to abuse again.
The media use paedophilia synonymously with child molesters. This is technically incorrect.
A pedophile is one who is primarily attracted to prepubescent children (a common mistake in the media is to define a pedophile as anyone attracted to someone below the age of majority, extending the definition to those attracted to teens, which is incorrect).
A hebephile is one who is primarily attracted to young to mid-teens
A ephebophile is someone attracted to mid-to-late adolescents.
A child molester is of course anyone who molests a child, regardless of their sexual attractions or preferences.
One should be aware that despite how the media and other outlets misconstrue it, there is a clear line between the terms “pedophile” and “child molester”.
Not all pedophiles are active child molesters.
Similarly, not all child molesters are pedophiles. There are often ulterior motives to criminal behavior, and some are situational offenders.
Contrary to popular belief, many pedophiles are as terrified of their own attractions as those who are sickened by them.
This does not mean one should have sympathy for the child molester; rather, it simply means that we should always be aware of societal failings and strive to correct it where possible by paying strict attention to our children and opening up lines of communication and trust.
Due to the rampant problem of misinformation as well as media coverage regarding cases those with such attractions are often terrified to come out and get help for their illness.
Likewise, therapists are not always as objective as they should be, and so some pedophiles grow desperate as they cannot receive the help they require.
Desperation in turn then leads to acting out.
However child molesters be them pedophiles/ hebephiles/ ephebophiles who act on their urges cause damage to the victims on all levels and this needs to be stopped.
Those who have not acted on their thoughts and feelings need to be given the appropriate help if they want it
I still believe that acting on your thoughts and feelings comes down to choice.
There is an organisation that will help individuals who have these thoughts and feelings.